23 June 2009

Being the parent of a young adult: How much help should you give?

New research shows Australian parents are prepared to care for their young adult sons and daughters when they’re sick, offer emotional advice and occasionally even provide big-ticket financial support.

But they’re less sure about whether they should be expected to care for their current or future grandchildren, according to a study published today by the Australian Institute of Family Studies.

“Surprisingly very little research has been done on how Australian parents see their role as their children enter adulthood – very rarely have they been asked,” said Institute Director Professor Alan Hayes.

“We wanted to find out if parents think they should continue to support their children as they enter their twenties or expect them to stand on their own two feet,” he said.

The new findings reveal close to two-thirds of parents provided some type of financial assistance to children aged in their twenties – with one in seven having given substantial assistance – like buying their son or daughter a car or a flat.

“ Most commonly the financial help came in the form of a gift or loan of money, help with the bills, rent or paying educational fees,” said the report’s co-author and Institute General Manager of Research Ms Diana Smart.

Most parents agreed it was their role to pass on their values (88%); to care for their adult children when they’re sick (87%); and to offer advice on everything from childrearing (59%) to financial matters (75%).

However the majority of parents didn’t believe their role was to provide their son or daughter with food, clothing or other everyday needs (68%), or to help with household tasks (59%).

Ms Smart says a sizeable minority (between 20-30%) were also unsure whether or not they should care for future or current grandchildren.

The new findings are drawn from the Australian Temperament Project – a study that began in 1983 looking at a group of more than 2400 babies and their parents. Two-thirds are still involved after 26 years.

At the time of the study, the children had become 23 and 24 year-olds and Ms Smart says it was a good time to gauge how their relationship with their parents were changing.

“Many parents, about 70 percent, thought their child counted on them for help with their problems or advice. But what struck me was the fact they’d underestimated just how much support they gave,” Ms Smart said.

“In fact up to 88 percent of the young adults, a much higher proportion than the parents, said they counted on their parents to listen to them, help them with problems and advise them.

“What this tells me is that young people in their mid-twenties are still very much connected to their parents and value their input, although parents seem less aware of this.

“But a ‘sea change’ seems to be occurring, with parents loosening the reins and moving away from the more tangible and practical support they’d provided earlier. Although parents still seem to be a major presence and a vital part of young people’s lives,” she said.

Authors of the paper are Diana Smart, General Manager (Research), Suzanne Vassallo, Research Fellow and Rhys Price-Robertson, Research Officer, Australian Institute of Family Studies.

 

Family Matters, no. 82, 2009 - table of contents and abstracts

 

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