Research report no.11 2004
'It's not for lack of wanting kids...'
A report on the Fertility Decision Making Project
by Ruth Weston, Lixia Qu, Robyn Parker and Michael Alexander
4. Aspirations about having children
The search for reasons for the decline in fertility rates has generated a number of international investigations into whether or not women want children, and if so, their preferred family size (e.g., see Alber and Fahey 2004; Goldstein et al. 2003; van de Kaa 1998; McDonald 2002b). So far, the various studies suggest that most women want children and that they typically want more children than they end up having. Under these circumstances, policies have at least some chance of being effective.
Nevertheless, as noted in Chapter 1, there is also evidence of a downward movement in aspirations that lags behind falling fertility rates (see Goldstein et al. 2003; McDonald 2002). This is not surprising, for aspirations are likely to be influenced by the number of children other people are having, although they may also be tempered by the size of one's family of origin and perceived opportunities and constraints.
In Australia nowadays, the most common number of children women have had by the time they are in their forties is two, followed by three or more (de Vaus 2004). Consistent with these trends, a 1996-97 Australian survey tapping family size suggested that families of two children were the most popular, followed by families of three children, then four. The most unpopular were no children, or five or six children, followed by having only one child (Evans and Kelley 1999). However, these results represent the views of adults of a wide range of ages including those well past their childbearing years who were asked to reflect on the issue with hindsight.9 The question may be viewed differently by those who are still in their "childbearing years".
McDonald (2000b) argues that there is a small group of women who wish to remain childless and for whom government policies relating to families, such as access to child care, taxation and so on will hold little relevance. In his view, policy should be directed towards helping those who want children achieve their ambition.
However, for some people, even seemingly entrenched views about having children may change as circumstances change - for example as a partnership forms or dissolves. Although there are always exceptions, people tend to adjust to their circumstances (Cummins and Nistico 2002). Ways of achieving this include changing aspirations or downplaying their importance (see Festinger 1957; Lazarus and Folkman 1984).
Thus, it might be expected that aspirations about family size that have not been met would be modified as a woman or female partner approaches the end of her potential childbearing years - or as those without partners reach a stage in life when opportunities for having a child are considerably diminished. Some childless individuals who wanted at least two children may set their sights on having an only child and focus on the personal and child-related advantages of raising only one child. Others may decide that the advantages of being childless outweigh those of having a family.
The Fertility Decision Making Project examined the aspirations of men and women about having a first or additional child, the number of children they would ideally like to have, and the age at which they would have ideally liked to have children. While no causal connections can be established with cross-sectional data, such data can be used to identify the extent to which aspirations vary according to socio-demographic factors. As in other chapters, this chapter focuses on respondents' age, the number of children they have had, their relationship status, educational level, and employment status.
Respondents were asked the following questions:
How much would you like to have a (or another) child in the future?
Just to clarify then, ideally, how many would you like to have in total (including the ones you already have)?
Response options to the former question were: "Definitely do want a/another child"; "Sort of do want a/another child"; "Not sure"; "Sort of don't want a/another child"; and "Definitely don't want a/another child". Where the respondent or partner was definitely or possibly pregnant (as indicated by responses to a preceding question), the question tapping desire to have a child was prefixed with "Apart from the one you're expecting...". Reasons underlying their responses were sought and recorded verbatim.
In addition, respondents aged 22 years or more were asked to indicate the number of children they wanted when they were 20 years old:
Looking back to when you were around 20, can you recall how many children you wanted?
Those whose current ideal family size differed from the family size they previously wanted were asked to explain why their views had changed. Their responses were recorded verbatim.
Finally, parents and childless respondents were also asked different questions to tap their personal ideals regarding the age of starting a family. The following alternative questions asked of parents and childless respondents respectively were:
Looking back, do you now wish you had started your family earlier than you did, later than you did, or did you start at about the right time?
Looking back, do you now wish you had started a family already?
Those who indicated that they wished they had started their family earlier or later than they had, were asked:
What do you think would have been the ideal age for YOU to start your family?
4.1. Ideal family size of men and women according to age and gender
This section focuses on the number of children respondents indicated that they would ideally like to have. Figures 4.1a and 4.1b present the proportions of men and women in total and across the four age groups who nominated as their ideal either no children, one child, or two, three, or four or more children, along with the mean ideal family size. The charts include parents as well as those without children.10
Consistent with the research findings of Evans and Kelley (2001), Figures 4.1a and 4.1b show that two-child families were the most popular, followed by three-child families. A preference for two children was reported by 53 per cent of all men and by 46 per cent of all women, while another 21 per cent of men and 26 per cent of women said they would like to have three children. In other words, around three quarters said they would like to have two or three children.
A family of four or more children was more popular than having one child or no children. Indeed, each of these latter two alternatives (no children or one child - taken separately) was considered to be ideal by less than 10 per cent of men and women in all age groups.
Figure 4.1a. Ideal number of children by age: men
Figure 4.1b. Ideal number of children by age: women
Although two-child families were the most popular of all family sizes for both men and women, this preference applied to less than half the women in all age groups and the men in their late thirties. In fact, across all age groups, women tended to be less inclined than men to opt for two children, and more inclined than men to prefer three or more children. This gender difference in preferences appears to be a true gender effect rather than a gender-related life course stage effect.11 For each age group, a preference for at least three children was reported by 43 per cent to 44 per cent of women and by 31 per cent to 37 per cent of men.
While Australia's total fertility rate has been 1.73 to 1.75 between 2000 and 2002 (ABS 2003), the mean fertility ideal in our sample was above the replacement level of 2.1 for all men and all women (2.4 and 2.5 respectively), and for all age groups (2.3 to 2.4 for men and 2.5 to 2.6 for women). There was also no significant difference in the mean ideals reported by men and women in each age group (gender differences ranged from 0.1 to 0.2).
Figure 4.2a. Ideal number of children by age: childless men
Figure 4.2b. Ideal number of children by age: childless women
Figures 4.2a and 4.2b refer to childless men and women in each of the four age groups. It shows that the proportion of respondents who wished to remain childless increases with age. Nevertheless, the ideal to remain childless was held by no more than one quarter of those in the oldest age group. Across all age groups, the most common preference of childless respondents was for two children. This applied to at least half the men in each age group, and at least half the women under 35. The averages derived for ideal family size for childless men and women (taken separately) ranged from 2.4 for the youngest group to 1.6 for the oldest group.
Some childless individuals whose chances of having a child are become increasingly remote given their advancing age may consider the prospect of having an only child or remaining childless increasingly attractive. While cross-sectional data do not enable us to examine the extent to which such a process occurs, the data in Figures 4.2a and 4.2b are at least consistent with this hypothesis: an only child was preferred by considerably higher proportions of childless respondents in their late thirties than in younger age groups.
4.2. Aspirations regarding having a first or additional child according to achieved fertility, age and gender
As noted above, ideal family size represents one of the two ways in which fertility aspirations were examined. The other focused on whether respondents wanted a child in the future. In this section, the aspirations of childless respondents regarding starting a family are outlined. This is followed by an examination of the aspirations of respondents who were already parents regarding having another child.
Childless respondents
Although two thirds of the men and more than 40 per cent of the women were childless, most of those without children indicated that they "definitely" wanted to have a child (60% of men and 65% of women respectively), while another 17 per cent of men and 13 per cent of women reported a vague desire to have a child (that is, they said they "sort of" wanted a child). In other words, just over three quarters of childless men and women were favourably disposed to becoming parents.
Figure 4.3. Desire for children by age and gender: childless respondents
Not surprisingly, patterns of aspirations varied with age (Figure 4.3). Unlike their younger counterparts, only a minority of childless men and women in their late thirties indicated that they "definitely" wanted a child (38% of men and 33% of women), although in total more than half leaned towards the idea (57% of men and 52% of women said they "definitely" or "sort of" wanted a child). By contrast, close to 60 per cent or more of the childless men and women under 35 "definitely" wanted a child, and 73 per cent or more of the men and women in this age group were at least favourably disposed to the idea. Of all age groups of childless respondents, women in their early twenties were the most likely to indicate that they "definitely" wanted a child, while women in their late thirties were the least likely to do so (72% and 33% respectively).
The differences between the oldest respondents and younger groups are understandable, given that the former would consist of the greatest concentration of those who had never wanted children. Previous research suggests that some people who want children when they are young adults are likely to change their minds for a variety of reasons as they approach their forties. Reasons include being single or having a partner who already has children, feeling too old to cope with raising children, or the presence of fecundity problems for themselves or their partner (see Weston & Qu 2001).
It is also interesting to note that the oldest group were the least likely of all these childless men and women to hold definite ideas about having children (whether positive or negative). This agerelated difference in clarity of views was greater for women than men.
In summary, around two-thirds of men and over 40 per cent of women did not have any children. Although applying to only a minority of respondents in their late thirties, childlessness was the most common situation of those examined for men of this age (Table 3.1), while women of this age were most likely to have two children. However, most childless men and women under 35 years old reported that they "definitely" wanted to have a child in the future, while more than half aged 35 to 39 indicated that they at least leaned towards the idea of having a child (i.e., they "definitely" or "sort of" wanted a child). While more than half the childless men and women in all age groups expressed definite ideas about whether or not to have a child, those in their late thirties were the least likely to do so - a trend that was stronger for women than men.
Figure 4.4. Desire for a(nother) child by current family size and gender
Parents' aspirations for more children
Figure 4.4 sets out the proportions of parents with different family sizes, who held different views about having another child. For comparison, the equivalent data for childless respondents are also shown. Because pregnant women (n = 98) along with men whose partner's were pregnant to them (n = 53) were asked about whether they wanted a child other than the one they were expecting, the family size of these respondents takes into account the child they were expecting. For example, a woman who was pregnant with her first child is classified as having one child.
Like the childless respondents, most parents with one child "definitely" wanted another. However, only a minority of those with two children, or three or more children, felt this way. Further, while roughly 60 per cent of parents with one child "definitely" wanted another child (61% of fathers and 58% of mothers), much the same proportion of parents with three or more children were "definitely" against the idea of having another child (61% of fathers and 64% of mothers).
Nevertheless, it is interesting to note that, of all parents, those least likely to hold definite views about having another child (either for or against) were men with two children, while those most likely to hold definite views were men with three or more children (60% vs 80%). This trend was not as strong for women (69% with two children and 77% with three children expressed definite views).
Not surprisingly, aspirations about having another child were related to parents' age, with parents in their late thirties being less supportive of the idea of having another child than their younger counterparts (refer to Figures 4.5a and 4.5b). For example, while most parents under 35 years old with one child "definitely" wanted another, such aspirations applied to only a minority of such parents who were in their late thirties (42% of fathers and 37% of mothers). In fact, most of these older mothers with one child were equally divided in terms of "definitely" wanting and "definitely" not wanting another child (37% and 39% respectively). Likewise, the most common responses of fathers in their late thirties with one child were at the extremes: 42 per cent expressed a "definite" desire for another child and 22 per cent indicated that they were "definitely" against this idea.
While aspirations of some parents in their late thirties who had only one child may have been dampened by age-related circumstances, it is also likely that, compared with younger parents with one child, this group contained a higher concentration of those who never wanted more than one child (given that a number of those of the same age who wanted more than one child would have already achieved this ambition). The same applies to parents with larger families. By their late thirties, there would be a relatively high concentration of those who had already achieved their long held ambitions about family size.
McDonald (1998) points out that the fall in the total fertility rate can be explained more by the decline in the proportions of large families than the increase in childless or one-child families. It is thus useful to consider the proportions of parents with two children who were at least favourably disposed to having another child (that is, they "definitely" or "sort of" wanted a third child). Although some of the numbers on which these percentages are based are small, such positive views were expressed by nearly half the mothers in their early twenties (48%) and 35 to 38 per cent of the mothers in their late twenties and fathers who were under 30 years old. Furthermore, 28 to 32 per cent of mothers and fathers in their early thirties and 18 to 24 per cent of those in their late thirties with two children leaned towards having a third child.
Even amongst parents with at least three children, a substantial minority were favourably disposed to having another child. Those most and least likely to feel this way were mothers under 30 years old and mothers in their late thirties (29% vs 14% respectively).
Figure 4.5a. Desire for a(nother) child by number of existing children and age: men
Figure 4.5b. Desire for a(nother) child by number of existing children and age: women
Thus, while most parents of two or more children were definitely against the idea of having another child, a substantial minority held favourable views. While these trends for those with two children are not surprising, given that three-child families are the second most common of family sizes for women in their early forties in Australia today, these parents and others with larger families who were inclined towards the idea of having another child may well be responsive to policies that make it easier for them to have and raise a larger family.
Interestingly, most parents who were against the idea of having another tended to be definite in their views. With the exception of fathers over 30 years old who had two children, no more than 10 per cent of parents indicated that they were "sort of" against the idea of having another child.
A small group of men and women indicated a strong desire to remain childless. But depending on the reasons for this motivation, even strong views may be amenable to policy intervention. Childless respondents were thus asked to explain their reasons for not wanting children. The nature of issues that they raised is set out in the next section.
4.3. Reasons for not wanting children
Various reasons were given for preferring to remain childless. As in two previous surveys conducted at the Australian Institute of Family Studies (Weston & Qu 2001), these included practical considerations (including age, partnering, health and fecundity); a dislike of children; work, financial and lifestyle choices; concerns about being a good parent; the belief that the world is not good for children; and concerns about overpopulation. Because respondents often provided a combination of reasons, some of the statements listed below under one category may also apply to one or more other categories. For example:
Money, work and time issues
Financially I don't know if I could support a child. It's a hard thing to choose between work and family (Male, 35, single).
One reason is we are still career-involved. There are plenty of kids around us in the family so we don't think we have to populate the world (Male, 29, single).
They are too much responsibility. I have my own goals. I want to have a career and financially it's too hard (to have children) (Female, 26, cohabiting).
It's time-consuming, I'm not patient, and I don't want to give up work (Female, 31, married).
I'm too career-focused and I wouldn't be able to juggle both a career and children (Female, 22, single).
I think a lot of people have kids and then find that they aren't as easy to look after as they figured ... I guess I'm holding back on having kids for selfish reasons. I'm thinking about my happiness and my career - I'm into music and wouldn't mind making a career out of it. With kids I wouldn't see that happening. I don't want to compromise my goals. I've got nothing against kids - it's just that if I had kids I'd want to give them everything and right now I'm being a bit selfish. If you have kids you have to be prepared to be completely selfless and compromising, and sacrifice a lot of your time and life - and there there's also the money reasons (Male, 28, cohabiting).
Dislike of children and/or desire for freedom
They are too dependent on you. I like my freedom (Male, 25, single).
We are not the type of couple that wants children - we have a fear of teenagers - we don't want to go through that stage. My partner used to work with teenagers and I am deterred from her experiences (Male, 24, cohabiting).
Lots of reasons - selfish reasons. The fact that once you have kids you have to think of them, first. Life changes. Everything changes. I've always wanted to do my own thing (Female, 35, cohabiting).
I'm too selfish to care for a child. I like my lifestyle too much - this includes money and free time (Female, 32, cohabiting).
Because we like our independence. We want to travel more and we move around a lot. We like our freedom. Kids cost a lot of money. I don't think I have the patience and I'm selfish (Female, 33, married).
Pain of pregnancy/childbearing
Because of the pain of pregnancy. I don't like children - they scream and they're noisy and irrational. I find it hard to relate to children (Female, 25, single).
Because every time I run into my boyfriend's sister she always spends 20 minutes telling me about the pain involved in childbearing. Also, I find kids irritating and disgusting (Female, 21, single).
Partner does not want children/partner has children
Before now, I would have said fear - not knowing whether I could cope and also seeing the number of sacrifices my parents made for me and my sisters - and I was too damn selfish to make them, though I would if I had to. I like having money to spend on myself. Now I have grown accustomed to my lifestyle and my partner doesn't want children. Having a kid would rock the boat a bit much as far as my relationship is concerned. But if an accident happened, I would have the kid (Female, 38, cohabiting).
My partner has three beautiful children and they are great (Female, 29, cohabiting).
Concerns about parenting skills/emotional problems
I'm just too selfish. I think I'd be a bad parent, and my lifestyle has changed. Your attitudes change. I see kids and they drive me nuts (Male, 31, single).
I don't think I'm very good with them (Male, 26, single).
I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough to impart good principles and values to a child (Male, 21, single).
I don't want to change my lifestyle. I think it's a very big responsibility and I'm not sure if I'm willing to accept it. I'm not sure if we would be good parents (Female, 37, married).
If I really wanted a child I'd probably adopt one from a third world country, I think of my own personal issues and I wouldn't want to share or inflict them onto a child. Another part of my reason is because I'm quite career orientated and busy. There are already enough children in the world (Female, 38, single).
Age
I think I'm a bit too old now. If I was going to have children I would have preferred to do it at a younger age where, when my children were teenagers, I was still sort of young. I think I'd be a better Dad if I was younger and it's also expensive raising children (Male, 38, single).
I'm too old to start a family (Female, 38, cohabiting).
Overpopulation concerns
The world is over-populated already (Male, 39, single).
There are enough children in the world and if I decide to have children I would choose to foster or work in early childhood (Female, 31, single).
The world is not a good place for children
I don't like children and the world is not a place to bring up a child - we both decided we don't want one (Male, 35, married).
Because I'm selfish. There are too many things I'd like to do for myself. And then the state of the world is pretty stuffed up - why would you want to bring a child into it? (Male, 35, single).
Because once you have children, they tie you down. It's a commitment. It's a financial commitment. It's very different to how I live at the minute. I don't really want to change my lifestyle at the moment to include children. I like to travel and it's quite hard to do that with children, and I don't know if I want to bring a child into this world the way it's going. Everything is so fast and cruel. Sometimes I think about my own existence, because if I had a choice I think I wouldn't have wanted to be brought into this world (Female, 31, single).
Some respondents indicated that they might change their mind. For example:
I just don't want children - they are too much responsibility, but I might change my mind in five years or so (Male, 29, cohabiting).
They limit our freedom. I don't want any now - I don't have a strong desire to have a child. I'm thinking that possibly my hormones might kick in the future and change my views but at this stage in my life it just isn't something I want. I'm happy now as I am in my relationship (Female, 30, married).
I don't see myself having children. I would probably prefer to pursue my career. I have thought about this and depending on the circumstances, I might think about it again - but in general, I wouldn't have kids (Female, 21, single).
This range of reasons highlights the fact that policies directed towards helping couples have children need to be multi-pronged. Strategies aimed at easing the difficulties of juggling of work and family are clearly important, as are those directed towards providing parents with financial and practical support to improve their confidence and competence as parents, and to ease the burdens associated with fulfilling their parenting responsibilities regardless of whether or not they are working.
The word "selfish" appears quite a lot in these responses. Rather than taking this at face value (by concluding that people are in fact selfish), this could be interpreted as a learned discursive response. That is, due to the expectations that society places on people to have children, those who want to remain childless feel guilty and learn to talk about this aspiration in ways that others have suggested: it represents a sign of 'selfishness' rather than a valid social choice.
4.4 Fertility aspirations according to other key variables
So far, family size aspirations and views about having a first or additional child have been examined according to age, gender and current family size (that is, the number of children respondents have already had). These three variables are fundamental to any analysis of fertility aspirations, given that women's fertility is so strongly age-related, childbearing affects the lifestyles of women more than men, and aspirations about having a child in the future are obviously dependent on how many children one already has. The following discussion focuses on the extent to which fertility aspirations vary according to the three other factors that are considered throughout this report (partnership status, educational level, and employment status), taking into account age, gender and family size.
4.4.1 Fertility aspirations and relationship status
This section first examines the aspirations of childless men and women about having a child according to their relationship status. (Women who were pregnant with their first child, and men whose partners were pregnant were omitted from this analysis). Attention is then directed to personal ideals of all men and women in the different relationship status groups.
Aspirations of childless respondents regarding having a child
Figures 4.6a and 4.6b present the patterns of aspirations of older and younger childless men and women in the three relationship status groups. Aspirations varied significantly with relationship status for each of the four "gender by age" groups. Furthermore, the patterns are similar for men and women: for both age groups, married men and women were the most likely to "definitely" want a child and those who were single were the least likely to feel this way. Nevertheless, across each of the three relationship status groups, the majority in their twenties were "definitely" in favour of having a child, and higher proportions in their twenties than thirties felt this way. Indeed, less than half of the single men and women in their thirties were "definitely" in favour of having a child, although even for these respondents, such views were more commonly advanced than any of the alternatives (applying to 45% of the men and 39% of the women).
While some of the older childless respondents who were not living with a partner may have always preferred a lifestyle free from a partner and children, it seems likely that some people have adjusted to their single, child-free lifestyle by accepting that they are unlikely to have a partner and family, despite earlier hopes of doing so. It is noteworthy that 11 to 16 per cent of these older single men and women were "definitely" against having a child, while 61 to 65 per cent were at least favourably disposed to having a child.
The fact that married childless respondents were the most likely of all these childless groups to "definitely" want a child is not surprising. Many couples may decide to marry when they plan to have children. However, it is interesting to note that a higher proportion of married men than women in their thirties indicated that they were "definitely" against having a child (16% vs 4%).
Figure 4.6a. Desire for children by relationship: childless men
Figure 4.6b. Desire for children by relationship: childless women
Personal ideals about family size
Compared with answers to the question tapping aspirations for a child in the future, those regarding personal ideals about family size are likely to be far less dependent on the number of children respondents already have. Thus, this section focuses on all respondents, regardless of the number of children they already had. Personal ideals about family size varied significantly with relationship status for all except men in their twenties - although the results for this group approached significance (refer to Figures 4.7a and 4.7b).
Figure 4.7a. Ideal number of children by relationship status and age: men
Figure 4.7b. Ideal number of children by relationship status and age: women
Once again, two-child families were the most popular for all groups examined, particularly for unmarried men in their twenties (nominated by 61% of those who were cohabiting and 59% of those who were single). Unmarried women in their late thirties were the least likely to state that they would ideally like two children (close to 40%). These women, along with their male counterparts, were the most likely of all groups to nominate one child as their ideal (around 13% of cohabiting and single women in their thirties and 8% of their male counterparts).
With the exception of cohabiting men in their twenties, three-child families were the second most popular choice, particularly amongst married respondents in their twenties (around 31% of men and women). Families of four or more children tended to be preferred over having one child or no children (taken separately), although only marginally so for unmarried respondents in their thirties (especially men). Interestingly, there was virtually no difference in the proportions of married and unmarried women in their thirties who saw four or more children as their ideal (close to 18%).
Having no children was not popular for any group. This situation was nominated by no more than 3 per cent of all groups of married respondents, by 5 to 7 per cent of unmarried respondents in their twenties, and by 8 to 11 per cent of unmarried respondents in their thirties.
4.4.2 Fertility aspirations and education
This section examines the extent to which the aspirations of childless men and women regarding having a child and the family size ideals of all men and women vary according to educational status. As in Chapter 3, educational status encompasses qualifications that have either been achieved or are being pursued.
Aspirations of childless respondents regarding having a child in the future
Figures 4.8a and 4.8b show that, with one exception (men in their twenties), aspirations of the childless respondents did not vary according to educational status. There was certainly no evidence that those with/pursuing a degree were less likely to want a child. Indeed, the results although typically non-significant tended to be in the opposite direction - especially for the men in their twenties and women in their thirties. For instance, of the men in their twenties, the proportions definitely wanting a child ranged from 62 per cent of those with Year 12 or less to 67 per cent of those with/pursuing a degree or higher qualification, while less than 1 per cent of the latter group and 6 per cent of the former group were "definitely" against having a child.
Together, these results on fertility aspirations and the results on the number of children respondents already had (noted in Chapter 3) reflect the fact that while men and women with/pursuing a degree are by no means less likely to want children than those with limited education, pursuit of tertiary education delays starting a family. But do those with or pursuing tertiary education want the same number of children as those with lower qualifications? This issue is examined below.
Figure 4.8a. Respondents wanting children, by education and age: childless men
Figure 4.8b. Respondents wanting children, by education and age: childless women
Personal ideals about family size by educational status
This section examines the personal family size ideals of all respondents according to their educational status and age. Once again, the most popular choices for all groups were two children, followed by three children, with at least four children being more popular than one child or no children (taken separately) (Figures 4.9a and 4.9b).
Patterns of responses varied significantly with educational status for one group only: women in their thirties - although patterns for men in their thirties almost reached the conventional 5 per cent level of significance. Of those in their thirties, women with/pursuing degrees and male nongraduates with/pursuing non-graduate post-school qualifications were the most likely of the three educational status groups to prefer two children and the least likely to prefer four or more children.
Figure 4.9a. Ideal family size by education and age: men
Figure 4.9b. Ideal family size by education and age: women
While explanations for these trends for men are not readily apparent, at least three are available for the trends for women. First, delays in childbearing of female graduates restrict the number of children they can have. Such women may thus adjust their ideals to better fit reality. In addition, women with degrees have a potentially higher earning capacity and thus face greater opportunity costs should they give up work or reduce their work hours to care for a single child, let alone a large family (McDonald 2000). Third, at the outset, women who pursue tertiary education may tend to be less interested than other women in having a family of more than two children.
However, despite statistical significance (or near significance), differences between educational status groups regarding ideal family size for those in their thirties were by no means very strong. Of women in this age group, 50 per cent with/pursuing a degree or higher preferred two children, compared with around 41 per cent of those with lower qualifications or no post-school qualifications, while 14 per cent of the former women and around 21 per cent of the latter groups of women preferred four or more children. Of the men in their thirties, a preference for two children was reported by 62 per cent of non-graduates who had or were pursuing qualifications other than a degree, 50 per cent of those with/pursuing a degree and only 44 per cent of those with Year 12 or less. On the other hand, a preference for four or more children was reported by only 9 per cent of the first group of men (non-graduates with/pursing qualifications other than a degree), 14 per cent of those with/pursuing a degree, and 19 per cent with Year 12 or less.
4.4.3 Fertility aspirations and employment status
This final section on family size ideals and aspirations of childless men and women regarding having a child compares the views of those in full-time, part-time, or no paid work.
Aspirations of childless respondents regarding having a child in the future
For those without children, aspirations for having a child did not vary significantly with employment status (Figures 4.10a and 4.10b). Across the three employment status groups, a desire for children was expressed by 79 per cent to 87 per cent of men and women in their twenties. Of those in their thirties, only 21 men and 27 women were working part-time. While only around half these men and women expressed a desire for children, percentages based on such a small number of respondents are likely to be highly unreliable. Of the other men and women in their thirties (those working full-time or not at all), between 64 per cent and 73 per cent wanted a child.
Figure 4.10a. Childless men who want children, by employment status and age
Figure 4.10b. Childless women who want children, by employment status and age
Personal ideals about family size
As noted in Chapter 3, the number of hours women worked was heavily dependent on whether or not they had children. The age of the youngest child is also a key determinant of women's attachment to the labour force (McDonald 2001d). Nevertheless, it might also be expected that a disproportionate number of women working part-time or not at all may be more interested in having a larger family than those who are more strongly attached to the work force. This was borne out.
Figures 4.11a and 4.11b show that, while those in each employment status group most commonly preferred to have two children (36% to 60% of men; 43% to 54% of women), women without paid work were the least likely of women to prefer two children (40%-43%), while those in full-time work were the most likely to indicate this preference (53%-54%). On the other hand, those most likely to express a preference for four or more children were older men who were not in paid work and older and younger women who were not in paid work (21%-24% vs 7%-15%).
Figure 4.11a. Ideal family size by employment status and age: men
Figure 4.11b. Ideal family size by employment status and age: women
The analysis so far has provided a snapshot of aspirations and men and women held at the time of the survey. For some people, these aspirations may have undergone considerable revision over the years. The following section thus examines the apparent extent of change in aspirations regarding family size, as recalled by the respondents.
4.5 Current versus past views on having children
As noted in Chapter 1, previous research in low fertility countries suggest that women's family size aspirations, expectations or intentions tend to be revised downwards with advancing age. Reasons mentioned in the literature include women's increasing appreciation of the difficulties surrounding partnership formation and stability, the juggling of work and family life, and the opportunity costs they are likely to experience by having children. There has been scant attention to ways in which men's views might change, although there has been considerable discussion of the notion that many young men may be "commitment phobic" in relation to family formation (e.g., Szego 2002; Whitehead and Popenoe 2004).
In the present study, respondents who were 22 years or older at the time of the interview were asked about the number of children they would ideally like to have, and the number they had wanted when they were 20. If they indicated that their views now differed, they were also asked to explain reasons underlying this discrepancy. Their answers were recorded verbatim.
In this analysis, it was assumed that perceptions of views at these two points in time reflect overall level of change with no significant oscillation in the intervening period. This may not be correct. Two sets of analysis were undertaken: firstly, views about having a child at all were compared for these two periods, and secondly, for those who indicated that they wanted to be parents at age 20, the proportions who said they currently wanted fewer children, the same number of children, or more children than when they were 20 were examined. Trends for men and women across the four five-year age groups were derived.
In total, around two thirds of the men (68%) and three quarters of the women (77%) indicated that they wanted children during both periods, while 23 per cent of men and 17 per cent of women said that, while they did not want children when they were 20 years old, they had changed their mind (in fact, many of them already had children). Only 3 per cent of men and 2 per cent of women indicated that they wanted children at 20, but not currently, while 6 per cent of men and 5 per cent of women indicated that they neither wanted them at age 20 nor currently.
Thus, assuming that any oscillation of views during the interim period is uncommon and recollections of respondents are reasonably accurate, then it appears that most men and women consistently wanted children. Figures 4.12a and 4.12b suggest that this picture applied to all age groups. That is, the proportions of men and women who indicated that they wanted children at age 20 and currently ranged from 65 per cent to 77 per cent for men, and from 74 per cent to 77 per cent for women. Less than 10 per cent in any group indicated that they neither wanted children at age 20 nor currently.
Figure 4.12a. Men: Views about having children - now vs age 20 by current age
Figure 4.12b. Women: Views about having children - now vs age 20 by current age
Across all age groups, those who reported a change in views were more likely to indicate a conversion from not wanting a child to wanting a child (a "positive conversion") rather than the reverse (a "negative conversion"). Positive conversions were indicated by 19 to 24 per cent of all men and by 15 to 19 per cent of all women. Negative conversions, on the other hand, were indicated by no more than 5 per cent of respondents in any group.
It thus seems reasonable to suggest that most respondents believed that they wanted to have children at least from early adulthood and continued to feel that way (with most men in their late thirties and most women in their early and late thirties having achieved this).
Figure 4.13a. Men who wanted to have a child at age 20: change in number of children that they wanted
Figure 4.13b. Women who wanted to have a child at age 20: change in number of children that they wanted
However, as suggested in other research, amongst those who wanted children at age 20, the tendency to revise family size downwards appeared to increase with increasing age (Figures 4.13a and 4.13b). For instance, a revision downwards was indicated by 20 per cent of men in their late twenties and by 32 per cent of men in their late thirties. For women, the proportions were 21 per cent and 39 per cent. With the exception of men in their twenties, downward revision was more common than upward revision, although with the exception of women in their late thirties, more than half the respondents indicated no change in desired family size. Of course, crosssectional data cannot show the actual extent of change that might occur with age.
In the eyes of the respondents themselves, how important are relationship and work/family issues (including opportunity costs for women and female partners), and commitment phobia for men, in shaping their revisions in family size? And why did some people convert from not wanting to wanting children? The next section provides some interesting insights on these issues.
4.5.1 Reasons for changes in views: respondents' explanations
Explanations for the fall in the total fertility rate are often sought through macro-level analysis of differences between countries in employment rates, couple formation trends, family- and work-related government policies and so on (e.g., Castles 2002; McDonald 2000a, 2000b). Another extremely important means of identifying likely answers to questions on declines in fertility rates is through examination of ways in which parenting status and family size vary for different socio-demographic groups - the approach that is largely used in this report. While both these approaches are very informative, much can be learned from the voices of those who speak from experience - our survey respondents themselves. This section provides examples of the reasons respondents gave for changing their views about the number of children since they were 20 years old.
Reasons for currently wanting fewer children than in the past
Not surprisingly, respondents often provided several reasons for changing their aspirations about family size. Thus, some of the comments included as reflecting one theme listed below also reflect other themes. As expected, financial and work-related issues were commonly mentioned, as were age and partnering issues, fecundity and other health-related problems. Problems experienced in raising existing children, and perceptions that the current state of the world is unsuitable for raising children were also mentioned.
The comments highlight the tendency for people to adjust their aspirations to better fit perceived reality. While some respondents may have been referring to changed expectations about the number of children they would have rather than changed aspirations (i.e. preferences) about family size, the question asked on current views about family size was: "Ideally, how many children would you like to have in total?"
Financial and work-related
Because I realised how unrealistic it is financially to have five kids now. At the time I had no idea. My parents were crazy. (Woman aged 33, married)
Because it's too expensive these days and I realise this; there has to be two people at work and that's why I think people leave kids until later. Unless the husband is on $90,000 plus salary you end up with too much of a debt. If it was like my grandparents who could pay off their mortgage in one year, we'd all have six kids! (Woman aged 26, married)
Because of being more realistic. The cost of living now is not like before. What is the point of having more children if you won't be able to look after them - because of financial pressure you will have to go back to work. (Woman aged 35, married)
I came from a family of four and it was nice but jobs aren't as secure anymore, and things cost more these days, and I want to be able to provide things for both us and our kids comfortably. (Woman aged 35, married)
Because I've come to realise that it's hard having two, let alone ten. The pregnancy puts a strain on your body. And financially it's difficult. Especially we want to take them through private education. We want to give them as much as you can. The more you have, you wonder if you can give them the same opportunities. (Woman aged 24, married)
Because of the financial strain of having children. I work full-time, so it would be just too hard to fit it in with work. I would love to have more children but it isn't possible. (Woman aged 35, single)
Probably because things have changed over the years - the cost of education and bringing up children - and because I don't want to go back to work and put them in day care. (Woman aged 33, married)
I didn't have the experience in the work force at that stage. I had no experience with real estate at that stage as well so I had no understanding of the pressures of having a mortgage. (Woman aged 32, married)
Because I'm now more realistic about my finances. (Man aged 29, single) I just realised how hard and costly it is to cope these days. (Man 36, married) I think we're being more practical. In considerations about cost of living and lifestyle. I think it's fairly difficult unless you start out on a family fairly early. (Man aged 39, married)
I came from a family of four and always wanted that, but now I have realised the cost of living, education, and housing. (Woman aged 33, single)
Because of the value of money and because I want my kids to have private schooling. (Woman aged 27, married)
Mainly financial pressures - needing to go to work and then raising the children. I have to work and to add another baby on to that would be too much, I think. (Woman aged 38, married)
Age and relationship status issues
We didn't have our first child until I was 29. I don't want to have children when I am over 35. (Woman aged 30, married)
Having kids is costly and I'm running out of time. I'm in my thirties now so to have a lot I would have to pop them out one straight after the other. (Woman aged 32, single)
If I were involved in a relationship, I think I would have liked to have a large family, but now I'm almost 40, time has kind of run out. (Woman aged 37, single)
I did not feel that my relationship at the time would end. As I am getting older, I feel that I have less time in which to have kids and would only be able to fit in two maximum. (Woman aged 32, single)
Partner's wishes
My husband at the time didn't want any other children after our first child so the decision was more his and not mine. We then left it and now she is grown up and past all those stages so it's very unlikely now. (Woman aged 30, single)
My husband didn't want any more than two. He was from a family of six and never got anything, so wanted to give his two everything. (Woman aged 34, married)
Experience of having children
Because I've had them. No one realises what it's like until you have them . . . like giving birth ... they're a lot of work. I think it's more that I don't want to run the risk of getting unhealthy. (Woman aged 34, married)
Just the experience of having a child. I wasn't prepared for the amount of work that it was. (Woman aged 30, married)
I've actually had them. They're a lot of work. (Woman aged 26, married)
Health and fecundity
I found out I was unable to have children due to a medical condition. (Woman aged 36, single)
The reality of life and all the problems that come along that you don't expect when you're younger. Having to cope financially with a family affects one's thinking. My wife's health has changed my views ... and her difficulties during pregnancy have impacted on my thinking. Because we can't have another child (I've been sterilised) and my views have changed in accordance with what's possible. (Man aged 38, married)
The state of the world
With what's going on in the world - [there are] too many people in the world. Also educational reasons: even if they're qualified/under qualified to get a job, the way kids are these days... (Woman aged 39, married)
The world is going to s*** at the moment and as a result I'm not as idealistic as before, and also finances [are a consideration]. (Man aged 36, cohabiting)
Reasons for currently wanting more children than in the past
Interestingly some of the same general domains of issues that were raised for reasons for downward revision of views were also mentioned as reasons for upward revisions (which typically involved conversion from not wanting to wanting children). Reasons included financial and work-related matters, age and relationship status issues, partner's wishes, and the experience of parenting. One commonly-mentioned reason centred on the respondents changing their priorities in life as they matured. Some also wanted the "right" gender mix of children, or decided they wanted to give their child a sibling. Others referred to the influence of their friends, or of their own or their partner's experiences growing up in a family of a certain size.
Financial and work-related reasons
My husband earns enough money that we can afford more than two. They're lovely to have around. More than two would be nice. (Woman aged 34, married)
I think because I have found the person I want to be with, and now we are more able to afford it as well. (Woman aged 32, cohabiting)
Because I settled down and have a steady job. (Man aged 28, single)
I had just left university and was looking to get a job. Now I have one, things are different. (Woman aged 24, single)
I have a good partner and good job. (Woman aged 29, cohabiting)
Age and relationship status issues
Being happy in a relationship. I wanted to start a family with my partner and became maternal. (Woman aged 32, cohabiting)
I suppose I'm in a stable relationship now and have matured a bit. I have a partner, a secure job, and I have security I suppose. (Woman aged 25, cohabiting)
I am in a better relationship - our house is so full of love and is a better environment for raising children. It is a much more loving relationship than my previous relationship and I wanted more children with [current partner]. (Woman aged 26, married)
Because I am in a happy stable relationship - in a married relationship. I had never assumed that I would marry. (Woman aged 33, married)
In a marriage you get a better understanding of what you want. (Man aged 38, single)
Because I've found the woman I love and I think that, in a marriage, children are important. (Man aged 30, married)
I've matured a little. I've got someone I'd like to start a family with. (Man aged 30, cohabiting)
I found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I feel having a family with her is important. (Man aged 26, cohabiting)
Partner's wishes
Since meeting [partner] my views have changed. He loves having a family of his own that he can care for and support, whereas I'm from a small family. All I had was my sister, so since meeting [partner], it's rubbed off on me a bit in wanting a family. (Woman aged 27, married)
I think I've just gotten older and I have met someone I love who wants to have children. (Woman aged 23, cohabiting)
Experience of having children
Because my first child was a home birth and I was there, helping to deliver her. She was a girl and you know what they say about a father and his daughter, it was just indescribable the feeling I had seeing her. The love you have for your kids and being part of the delivery is unbelievable, it's as strong as hate and all other extreme emotions. The bond the father and his daughter have is incredible. (Man aged 33, married)
Now I have been exposed to them and realise how much respect and love I have for them. Since I had one, it changed my world. (Man aged 24, cohabiting) I had not had kids when I was in my early twenties. Now that I've had two kids I know how much I enjoy having kids and would like to have more. (Woman aged 28, single)
Because my children have added so much quality to my life. They have enriched my life, and I wouldn't want to live without them. (Woman aged 34, single) I moved in with my wife not long after we met and she already had the boys, and probably about six months after that I started to have the urge to have a child of my own. (Man aged 29, married)
Because they're not as scary as I thought they were, I hated kids when I was younger. (Woman aged 24, cohabiting)
I didn't realise how easy it would be to be a mother. (Woman aged 30, married) Having one child, and knowing that it is a wonderful thing and how it makes you grow up and change, and is fulfilling, so would want to have more. (Woman aged 27, single)
The joy of having fathered a child has made me realise how special it is to have a child and I therefore want more. (Man aged 33, single)
I enjoyed being a Dad. (Man aged 38, married)
"Growing up"
I matured and realised there's more to it. I never associated children with such love and joy. I was more materialistic when I was younger. (Man aged 37, married)
When you get older you want children because your priorities change a bit and you understand the bigger picture. When I was 20 - you kind of think you're indestructible and you can do anything, you don't really want children. When you get older, your priorities change and you understand the bigger picture and for me, I want to have children to fill that picture. (Woman aged 33, single)
Maturing - your whole thought process changes, particularly after you turn 30. I ended up wanting a child. (Woman aged 37, married)
I've settled down a bit and meeting [partner] changed my mind. (Man aged 31, cohabiting)
I've settled down; I have different values. (Man aged 24, cohabiting)
I think I've grown up a bit; the social circles I'm now in - they all have children, so if they can do it, so can I. It's like living proof that I can do it. (Woman aged 32, single)
You get stable - at 20 you just want to go out and get drunk. (Woman aged 35, married)
Because I've become a father in the meantime, and when I was twenty I wanted to have fun. (Man aged 28, married)
Maybe growing up wiser and I can cope with the responsibility now. (Woman aged 28, single)
Possibly because I've gotten older and more interested in those sorts of things now. When you're 20, having children is not the kind of responsibility you want at that age. (Man aged 32, single)
When I hit 27, I suddenly realised that something was missing. (Woman aged 32, married)
Kids are good for you - they add meaning to your life. I'm older and wiser and more patient than I was back then. (Man aged 39, married)
I guess when you get older you start to think about families and settling down. (Man aged 25, single)
I grew up. I didn't want the responsibility at 20 - I wanted to see the world. (Man aged 32, married)
It's just a different phase in your life. Your views change when you meet a stable partner and decide to have a stable life and that involves having children. (Man aged 34, married)
I think I found the right person and I got to an age when I was ready - but at 20 it was the last thing on my mind. (Woman aged 38, married)
Your attitude changes and you grow up and think of life in the future. When I was young I didn't want responsibilities or commitments and I didn't think of my future like I do now. Your views just change with age and maturity. (Woman aged 35, married)
Having the right gender mix; giving child a sibling
I've always wanted a girl and had a boy first - so I tried again and got the girl I originally wanted. (Woman aged 38, married)
Because we had two girls, we thought we'd try for a boy. (Woman aged 30, married)
I have one child and I see how happy she is with other kids. (Woman aged 23, single)
[After] having the first, then you realise that your child needs a brother or sister. I wouldn't want my child growing up as an only child. (Woman aged 36, cohabiting)
Size of family of origin; being with others with children
Family becomes more important the older you get. My girlfriend comes from a big family and my sister has three kids and all my mates have got them. My parents are quite old now and it's nice to have someone looking out for you. (Man aged 38, cohabiting)
I wasn't thinking about children then. My friends are doing it; it's in my life; it is all around me - my desire, my urge to have kids is now there. (Woman aged 27, married)
I know people with families now. Being exposed to them has changed my views. (Man aged 30, single)
I guess just being older, and being surrounded by friends and associates who have those things, then outside influences. (Woman aged 23, single)
4.6 Actual and ideal age for starting a family
As noted in Chapter 1, the increasing age for starting a family appears to be a major factor contributing to the decline in average family size (Jain & McDonald 1997). As later ages become normative, then views about the most appropriate time to start a family are likely to shift and thereby drive further macro-level changes. However, such changes may be tempered by messages in the media and elsewhere that for women in their thirties in particular, the "biological clock" is ticking.
To what extent, then, do current views about the appropriate age of starting a family correspond with current societal trends in childbearing? Alternatively, is there much evidence that men and women are postponing having children beyond an age that they consider ideal? As noted earlier, respondents were asked to nominate the ideal time for them to start, or to have started, a family. The precise questions are listed in the introductory section of this chapter.
Two issues are examined in this section. The first analysis focuses on the extent to which views about the personally ideal age for starting a family is related to the respondents' actual age at the time of the survey, along with their parenting status (that is, whether or not they were parents). Attention is then directed to parents in different age groups. The age parents had their first child is compared with the age they nominated as ideal for them to have had their first child.
4.6.1 Ideal age for starting a family
Figure 4.14 (below) shows that, on average, the age considered personally ideal for starting a family tends to increase with respondents' age at the time of the survey (here called "interview age") for both the childless and for those with children. Secondly, parents in general nominated significantly lower ideal ages for starting a family than their counterparts without children (men: 27.3 years vs 28.6 years; women: 26.0 years vs 28.1 years). This tendency for parents to nominate a lower age than non-parents was also apparent for each "survey age" group taken separately: parents tended to nominate a lower average age to start a family than non-parents. For example, the average ideals derived for fathers and mothers aged in their early twenties were 23.7 years and 22.2 years, while the averages for non-parents of this age were 27.5 years and 26.8 years respectively. At the other extreme, the ideal ages for starting a family nominated by parents and non-parents who were in their late thirties when interviewed were, on average, as follows: men: 28.9 years and 29.8 years respectively; women: 27.2 years vs 29.0 years respectively. Of all these groups, the smallest difference between parents and non-parents in average ideals emerged for men in their late thirties, while the largest emerged for women in their early twenties.
Figure 4.14. Ideal age to start family, by parenting status and gender
4.6.2 Parents: Ideal versus actual age for starting a family
Interestingly, the average age that women considered to be ideal for them to start, or have started, a family was 26.8 years - an average age that is only marginally below that for first-time mothers in 2000 (27.3 years) (de Vaus 2004). Figure 4.15 shows that fathers and mothers who were in their early twenties when interviewed had their first child when they were, on average, younger than they considered ideal (for fathers: 20.9 years vs 23.4 years; for mothers: 19.8 years vs 22.2 years). However, for parents in their late twenties or older, there was little difference between their ideal and actual ages for starting a family. For instance, the average personal ideal age for starting a family was 27.2 years for fathers who were in their thirties at the time of interview, while they had their first child when they were, on average, 27.4 years.
Figure 4.15. Ideal vs actual age at birth of first child, by age: parents
4.7 Summary and conclusions
This chapter has examined a number of different aspects of men's and women's aspirations about having children, specifically: respondents' views about having a first or additional child in the future; the family size they considered personally ideal; the extent to which their family size aspirations had changed since they were 20 years old; and their views about the ideal age for them to start, or to have started, a family. In addition, this chapter outlined key themes running through the reasons for not wanting children provided by relevant childless respondents, and the reasons for changes in family size aspirations offered by those who indicated that they would like fewer or more children than they wanted when they were around 20 years old.
Regardless of age and gender, two-child families were the most likely to be considered the ideal family size, followed by three-child families. One-child families and childless families were relatively unpopular. In fact, roughly half the respondents in the survey indicated that they would ideally like to have two children. These trends are consistent with the prior research noted earlier. Furthermore the average number of children that men and women would ideally like to have was 2.4 to 2.5 - averages that are above the replacement level (2.1 babies per women).
Respondents' views about having a child in the future were consistent with those noted above concerning ideal family size. Most men and women without children indicated that they "definitely" wanted a child in the future. Parents with one child were just as likely as those without children to feel this way. A substantial minority of parents with at least two children wanted another child.
Not surprisingly, desires for a first or additional child were related to men's and women's age, with those in their late thirties being the least likely to definitely want a child in the future. This trend not only applied to parents who already had two children, but also to childless respondents and to parents with one child. Given that two children were typically seen as the ideal family size, these trends for those with no children or only one child may to some extent reflect an adjustment to their diminishing opportunities. On the other hand, the trends may simply arise from the greater representation in the older than younger age group of those whose preferences were for no children or one child.
Although two-child families were mostly preferred by married, cohabiting and single people alike, views about having children varied according to relationship status. A larger family was preferred by those who were married. In addition, married childless men and women were the most likely to definitely want children, while their counterparts who were single were the least likely to feel this way. Such trends were stronger among respondents in their thirties than among those in their twenties. Nevertheless, the majority of men and women in their thirties who neither had a partner nor children wanted to have a child. In other words, the fact that they did not have children more commonly related to a lack of partner than to a preference for remaining childless.
For those in their twenties and thirties (taken separately), childless men and women with or pursuing tertiary or higher qualifications were as likely, or more likely, as those without any postschool qualifications to definitely want a child in the future. Furthermore, educational status did not appear to be strongly linked with ideal family size for either men or women. Yet Chapter 3 showed that men and women who had or were pursuing a degree or higher qualification were less likely to be parents than their counterparts who neither had nor were pursuing any postschool qualifications.
While aspirations for a child did not vary significantly according to the employment status of men and women without children, women in full-time paid work appeared to have stronger preferences for two children compared with women who either worked part-time or were not in paid work. Although applying to a minority, those who were not in paid work were more inclined than others of the same age to prefer four or more children.
Childless respondents who did not want children tended to give more than one reason for their views. Those mentioned commonly centred on money, work and time issues and associated difficulties in balancing work with family life; personal age; dislike of children; desire for freedom; pregnancy/childbirth worries; partner's views on his/her having children; concerns about parenting skills or personal emotional problems; overpopulation; and concerns that the world is not a good place for children. Some of these reasons would be amenable to policy intervention. And some respondents volunteered that they might change their mind.
Most respondents reported that they had not changed their views on the number of children they wanted since they were 20 years old. However, of those who had changed their views, a downward revision of aspirations was more apparent than an upward revision.
Reasons for respondents revising their family size aspirations downward and upward often related to the same domains, thus suggesting that there may be avenues for stemming downward revisions and perhaps encouraging upward revisions. For instance, while financial and workrelated reasons were often seen as constraints that led to a downward revision, a few respondents who revised their family size upward mentioned that they had experienced improved financial or work circumstances. But as noted in Chapter 1, many of today's perceived "necessities" in life are linked with values. It was therefore not surprising that downward revisions sometimes involved considerations about private education for children.
For some people, difficulties they had experienced in parenting led them to revise their views downwards; for others, the sheer joy they encountered in becoming parents led them to want more children. This highlights the importance of effective strategies that help reduce the considerable stress experienced by some parents, not only to make parenting more enjoyable but also to remove a potential obstacle to having another child. Again, while lack of a partner and relationship breakdown led to revisions downwards, finding a partner and feeling secure in this relationship was often mentioned as a reason for upward revision.
Those who were already approaching their forties without yet achieving their ideal family size often saw their age and fecundity issues as reasons for downward revisions, while a common theme amongst others who wanted more children, was that they had "grown up". Interestingly, while in the 1950s and 1960s, men and women tended to leave home at age 20 to 22 in order to marry and raise a family (McDonald 1995), the comments of many of these respondents who had "grown up" highlight the prolonging of adolescence these days. In addition, some respondents who wanted fewer children than previously felt that the world was an unsuitable place for raising children, while some who wanted more children than previously were wishing to achieve a certain gender mix of children or to give their existing child a sibling.
The final analysis in this chapter focused on respondents' views about the ideal age for them to start, or to have started, a family. The older the respondents were at the time of the interview, the older was their ideal age for embarking on parenting. Compared with childless respondents, parents tended to nominate a younger age to take on these responsibilities. On the other hand, the average age that parents in their early twenties considered to be ideal was older than the average age at which they became parents.
It is worth noting that the ideal age nominated by women was, on average, marginally lower than that for first-time mothers in Australia in 2000. Thus, the respondents' views were consistent with changing family formation patterns in Australia. Societal changes influence personal aspirations and behaviour, which then feed back to influence social norms.
- In this survey, respondents indicated how they would feel about having different numbers of children (from 0 to 6) if they could "start over", by rating each alternative family size (taken separately) from "Yes definitely" to "No, definitely not" (Evans and Kelley 1999). [back]
- Before these percentages on ideal family size were derived, those who indicated that they did not know their ideal family size or who refused to answer this question were omitted. These "non-respondents" represent 2 per cent to 3 per cent of men and about 2 per cent of women in the four age groups. [back]
- A gender-related life course stage effect would derive from the fact that men tend to be older than women when they start to have children. [back]