Trip to Melbourne
Stronger Families Learning Exchange Bulletin No.4 Spring/Summer 2003 p.35-36
This humourous article is a personal reflection on the authors' experiences during their working trip to the National Workshop for Stronger Families Fund projects in Melbourne.
My first time in Melbourne. Well what a trip! One that I will not forget in hurry.
Day one
We were on the first direct plane flight from Broome to Melbourne, the Pigram Boys were at the airport to play us away with their music, the people coming off the plane were all wearing a string of pearls. I said to Shelly 'I wonder what we will get when we get on the plane'. She said 'probably nothing'. Well she was right, we got nothing. Then we got to Melbourne and caught a taxi. We asked him to take us to the hotel. Well, he just looked at us and said 'what, the YWCA?'. We both looked at each other and shook our heads: 'No the Y Hotel'. Off we went, he got us there all right, it was the YWCA!!! Shelly was amazed and I won't say what she said. We proceeded to book in and off-load our bags and then back down stairs to find out where to get a feed.
The lady said go five blocks to your right. Well we started out the wrong way, then we got some instructions from some tourists. Well I tell ya, one block is one kilometre, which meant that we had to go five kilometres to get a feed. On our way there Shelly decided that she would like Hungry Jacks. We found it, but it was closed. Disappointment started to settle in. We looked up the street and saw a KFC sign, so we decided to get KFC, but when we got there they had no chicken, Ha! Ha! We were told to wait ten minutes for the chicken to cook. While we were waiting a young man approached and asked us if we could give him 80 cents so that he could buy some food. Shelly just gave him the rest of her chips. We both just laughed.
Twenty minutes passed and still no sign of a feed. Shelly went back inside to inquire about the chicken, meanwhile the Manager was giving a customer back his money and told him that there was literally no chicken. Shelly started to laugh. What? KFC with no chicken? Ha! Ho! The waitress reassured Shelly that they had just enough for us - thank god for that we were starved. We started to eat our tea, then we were approached by a young girl who asked if we could give her some money because her car had dribbled out all the fuel and she reed to buy a gerry-can and some fuel to refuel the car. I just burst out laughing and replied, 'Why would you want to buy more fuel to put in the car for it to dribble out again?' She walked away not very happy. There were some Chinese students sitting at the table next to us and they were laughing too. Shelly asked, 'Is Melbourne always like this?' They replied, 'Yes'.
After tea we decided to take the long walk back to the Y Hotel (YWCA) Ha! Ha! But who should pass us but the young man that had asked us for 80 cents, his hands were full of coins. Shelly and myself just started laughing again. We arrived back at the Hotel. I got into bed while Shelly was in the bathroom, I yelled out to her, 'The beds are quite comfortable, maybe MeIbourne will look different in the daylight!'
The next morning we meet two ladies from Darwin who are also here for the Stronger Families Workshop. We swapped names and had a chat and a coffee then we proceeded to go down town to look at the shops. As we were walking, Shelly decided she needed a toilet. We happened to be just outside the Movie Cinema. She proceeded to ask were the ladies room was. The young girl at the counter replied that to use the toilets she would have to buy a ticket, so we both decided to buy a ticket to use the toilet - this cost us $13.60. This would have been the most expensive piddle that we had ever had. We looked at each other again and laughed.
The next day was the Workshop. The first workshop was about Action Research. Well, we ended up in a debate on Action Research, and this was a very interesting day.
That night we decided to go to the Crown to have tea, as we had been told that the waterfall at the front entrance was just excellent and so was the towers of fire, and it was a must to see the chandelier come down, at the Crown. Well we were disappointed again, after waiting with head bent for half an hour, it didn't come down. Then we were told that Melbourne was on water restrictions and so no waterfall, but one good thing - we did see the towers of fire.
Day two
On Day Two we went off to our workshops and then that right we all had Dinner at the Y Hotel. After dinner we were all watching an education video in the next room and when we went back to our tables to get a drink and sit down, the tables had been cleared away. In other words dinner was over and they were kicking us out, so we all proceeded to go across the road to a hotel (pub) - there would have been about 30 of us. We were all drinking expensive drinks and having a great time. Shelly went to get herself a second drink only to be told that there was no more ice. Shelly said, 'What, No Ice! You have to be joking.' ShelIy then decided that she couldn't drink a hot drink so the proceeded to go to the shop next door and buy a bag of ice. She brought the ice back to the Hotel and we all filled our glasses with ice, everyone was cheering her on, she walked up to the bar-tender and handed him the ice. Everyone was happy. Then at 10.30 the bartender decided he wanted to go home and he told us that we had to leave. We all couldn't believe what was happening. What - a pub with no ice, and now closing early! Ha! Ha!
Day three
By this time the 'action research' from last night was only just starting to wear off and the reflection on the night before was about to unfold. We all met at the best coffee shop in Melbourne, Cafe Scaletti, right next to the Y Hotel (sorry, correction, YWCA). We all went inside to the last day of the workshop. Only one thing I would Iike to have changed on that day was the talks, the reflection from last night had finally settled in and the evaluation was not looking good for some.
The workshop ended and we said our goodbyes to everyone. That night, there were still a few of us left so we decided to go out to tea. We walked five kilometres again to somewhere that was not what we all expected and we were all feeling tired, so we decided to take a taxi. Well it happened again. The taxi driver wouldn't take us because we were not going to make enough money. He told us to take the tram, off we walked to take a tram. Well the tram that we caught wouldn't take us because he wasn't taking passengers. Ha! Ha! Shelly and myself just broke out in laughter. Melbourne, what a place, I reckon you have to have a good sense of humour, good pair of legs, be able to communicate with different people, and make sure you don't want any hospitality at all, and that you're ready to shop for miles because everything is spread out through the suburbs. Other than that, the old buildings are lovely and the weather, it's great. My face didn't melt once. Just one big Thank You and that was for Cafe Scaletti. The coffee and hospitality is the best that you will ever get anywhere in the world - a really great crew. Also thanks to all the lovely people that we met in Melbourne and at the workshop. We did some really good networking and hope to keep in touch in the future.
But it didn't end there. We were sitting in the Airport waiting to go back to Broome and there was this lady with all these pearl necklaces. Shelly and I just started laughing. I said, 'Can't be, I wonder if we are going to get our pearls after all.' Well we did. We got back to Broome at about 11.30 that night and by the time we booked in and got to our rooms it was about 12.30 which is about 2.30 Melbourne time, we hit the bed without a whimper. The next morning we packed the car thinking only another 240 kilometres and we will be home, but to our disappointment the car would not start, we had a flat battery. Shelly rang to get some service to get the car going. Meanwhile the weather in Broome was hot and my face was melting. It could only happen to us.
What a trip! It's one that we won't forget and has been told over and over again. Everyone thinks it's really funny - lucky Shelly and I have a good sense of humour. HA! HA!
The End. From the Derby Crew.
Ronda Clarke is a Project Coordinator with the Derby Young Women's Centre.
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